how the road can let you go

At one point in my life I spent some time on the back of a motorcycle. Even though the logical part of my brain is terrified of motorcycles, especially after witnessing a few horrific accidents, I absolutely loved riding on one. The very first time was in Oakland, CA, and I remember this intensity, or adrenaline, or something similar, that ran through me as I realized how quickly I could just let go and radically change my fate. In absolutely no way was this a serious consideration or a commentary on the value I place on my life. I very much love life! It was just an overwhelming awareness brought on by the experience, of how easy change can happen in some circumstances, while in others we work and work and work to create even small movement. This poem connects that first motorcycle ride with another, in which a new awareness about how the mind can also be changed quickly, or be allowed to "let go," through a seemingly simple physical and aesthetic experience.

excerpt from "how the road can let you go." photo from morgueFile by mettem

how the road can let you go

the wind won't decide
what temperature it wants to be tonight-
cold off the columbia
trades frequently
with the day's remnants of heat
swinging down off the backside of the west hills
for one last chance
to remember the sun,
warm my face.

i welcome the constant change
wonder if the draft from the left
side of his body favors one
more than the right. prediction
becomes a game
i have simplified tonight,
and guess as we turn on the bridge
it will be warmth all the way across-
a contradiction over water.

it puts me back in oakland
when i first realized
i could let go
at any moment
and my life could change
like the temperature of the wind
on a wednesday evening-

unpredictable, waited for,
rode toward on highway 30
down dutch canyon, where
leaving the same way you come in
still keeps you guessing,
and holding on

while the road

lets you go.


©Erin Croley

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